Staring At Nowhere

"I'm running in a beam of light where shadows don't exist. Every step I take seems to kill the inside of me. As I stare to the sky, I realize that the cries of the unknown species where I belong was slowly bleeding, and can't be healed anymore. I'm gasping for something I don't own but treating as my own property. And when the time comes that I reach the end, there will be nothing for me but to become a shadow where nobody can see me."

I was not in good condition these past few days
I was depressed
I know it may not sound good since I'm a male
But I don't care
I'm just a human breathing for someone
It was bit hard for me since the truth
There was a time where I felt that I'm alone in my own world
I really don't like to put it in here
I just put it just to express myself
I can't also hold myself
There's only one person whom I shared everything that runs in my mind on that particular time
I just don't want her to be affected since she was also damaged
Sorry...
I just don't want you to feel what gasping is

I was stocked between myself and my emotions
I don't know what to do
I never want it to run that way
But I have no power to stop the clock's movement
The only thing I can do is to let time pass by
It feels like I'm running without any direction
I also think that that will mark an end
But fortunately
It is not
But there's another day for me to treat like the day where I will day
It will be 3 days from now
I really have no clue for that particular date
Aside of the way I think that I will sink
How I wish that day will be an illusion or just the dream I had last night
It was not too highlight
But there's a scene that almost killed me
I'm trusting that person so I don't think that it'll happen
Well, sorry for my entry today is full of unspecific thoughts and logic
I just still want some privacy even though I almost said everything
This morning
During our English class
We had an exam
But since I finished it
I sleep for a while
When I wake up
I felt a little bit lighter
I realized that when the time I was asleep
I was out of this world
I forgot everything in my life
Even my own name
And the best part is
It is like my own world where I'm alone before
So dark that even lights can't shine

Am I lost again?
I also felt bad in this box
Everyone in here is just the same
They can't trust the black sheep
All they can do is to trust the precious one
And blame everything that happens on the black one
Well, I can't blame them too much
I know I had my mistakes
I'm not perfect
But the hardest thing is that
They'll push you to your limits
Just to say that you are nothing in this box
I want to have a life
Not too free
But free to even one aspect
The aspect I share with her
Being with her is always a blissful second
But with them binding my shadow
It was such an unpleasant minute
Even you are enjoying every moment you share
You still can't move freely if you are inside a cage that you are with anywhere you go
I never wanted this to become this
Hope you understand
When something happens to me badly
I just want you to know
I'm happy being with you
But it was such a tightrope where I was caught

"Close your eyes and everything comes to life."

---- Sponge Cola ( Lights )

--marc22o8eliyha