No
These weeks
I've been too busy
So my apologies to the one waiting for my new post
Too busy
That even our school year-long project
I can't make it
A journal for English and Physics class
We will write anything about the said subject
In our every meeting
Making it
The English to have 5 entries per week
And 3 per week for Physics
But I think
It's useless
What's the sense of knowing the negative and positive
If you still can't change what you want to change?
Well I'll end this portion
For the reason
I don't want to be the person in our guidance councilor's room
Because of this blog
About last week
Or last 2 weeks
I can't remember the exact date and day
Our local gov't gave us our free footwears
A leather and rubber shoes
Yes
We gain materialistically
But we lose a friend
Because a lesson was on going at the time the shoes were given
We were in a very rush at that moment
To be honest
I really forgot about his presence at that exact moment
So we went down all the way to 1st floor
And get our shoes
About a day after
Our friend already call us "traitors"
For the reason we didn't wait for him
And until now
We aren't at good terms
I want you to know
That about the past 6 hours before i write this entry
There are a lots of things i want to share
But for the unknown reason
I forgot them all
For a while
I want to boast
Now
Let me do it
At our Math classes
Which is Advance Algebra and Plane Geometry
Because of my summer lessons
Obviously last summer
I know already some of the topics
That's why I felt like
I was a little bit above against my classmates
But still I know
There will be an end
And speaking of end
There is something I want to end
I want to forget
And wish I didn't do it
I can't tell the exact thing
So that you'll read my blog very carefully
I've done this mistake
It is already the 2nd time
But it's not as simple as that
This mistake
Is a better mistake compared to the 1st mistake
I know
The persons involved are the wrong persons
Unlike the 1st one
Because of it
The ones that makes me smile before
Now
Can make me smile
Not the same side
But the negative side of me
Because of it
I envy my best friend for it
I didn't know what the hell did I done
I don't like sharing this kinds of stuff
But I can't take myself away from it
I've destroyed everything
And I'm regretting it
Did you get what I mean?
What do you think it is?
No
That's not the correct answer
Before I end this blog
It took me a night
And a day also
It is already the 20th hour since I started it
Because last night
It was already almost the middle of the night
And my dad ask me to stop
And I do so
This morning
I was busy for my assignments
Afternoon's time?
I spent it in my cousin's home
So this is again another free time of my life
But not for long
Because I'm into something again
I forgot to tell it earlier
So now I'm gonna say the main point
Why did I post another blog in no time
Answer?
Very simple
Because of a feeling
A feeling that caused me to think
And that feeling is called
Self-pity
Since elementary
My father brings me to school
And fetches me after class
I was happy
Because my dad has a time for me
Unlike my other classmates
They'll wake up too early
And their parents is either sleeping
Or already on the way to their works
And they'll sleep by the time
That their parents isn't at home yet
At that point of view
I felt very lucky
For treating me like a very special thing
When high school came
The only thing that differs it from my elementary days
Is that my dad didn't fetch me from school
Instead
They hired a service for me
I'm still happy
When 2nd yr came
I already don't have a service
I was not mad
Or saying that my parents doesn't care about me anymore
But
I already saw the thing that differs me from every person I know
They don't want me to go alone in the open crowd
They didn't allow me to have the same route as an ordinary student walks
Instead of that
I was always in a special one that dispatches me at the door of our house
I'm not mad because of the reason
I can't go with my classmates at their way to home
I was happy in the sense that
They wanted me to be safe
But the thing I didn't like is that
They didn't want me to taste a little more dangerous life
I don't want to be a wild one
But I also want to walk to the same route
That an average public school student takes
I didn't want freedom
Because I know that I already have them
But I just want to experience and learn from the said thing
Right now
A part of me wants to be rebel
But I know
It will get me to my worst phase
And at the end
I will still be the loser
I just beat up my self
And I'm just thinking
That there is a reason
Why I have to be a special one against the others
Right now
The only thing at my mind
Is 3 things
Be wise
Be sly
And overtake my dreams
I don't want to have other things that is unnecessary
I wanted to maintain my scholarship
I wanted to fulfill my expectations
I wanted to live my life
I wanted to learn
I wanted to be the better one than myself
Why only better not best!?
Simply because
When you choose to b your best
You can't upgrade from it
Because it is already the superlative one
There is no higher or greater than that one
But with better
I can always improve
I can always be better
I can always defeat the greatest enemy
MYSELF
"I was alone and you were with him. I wanna see my friend."
----Pedicab ( A Stormy Night)
--marc22fews
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