This day, These days

It's been too confusing
Slyness doesn't count anymore
Thinking ability is too dull
To figure it out

One subject
Advance Algebra
We had an exam
I got a score
More than the number of items
I was
Of course happy
For the second exam
I'm the second to the highest
Because I was called 2nd for my paper
But I don't know what is the score of the 1st one

These days
My classmate
Named Gelli
Is always bringing some guitar
And of course
I'm borrowing it
I've been playing hits like
Crazy for you
Tuliro
And Betamax

To be honest
I started this blog last July 17
Quite too long for now
I never insisted myself
To finish a thing
With a deadline of my own
For a very simple reason
Pressured me can't create a quality product

These days
We don't have any teachers
Present in almost majority of the subjects
Especially the last 3 days of this week
They attended a seminar
Including Science, Mathematics and Social Sciences
Last Thursday
We only attended
Oh
I'm sorry
My bad
"They" attended only 2 of our classes
So instead of having 9 subjects that day
We had a holiday
For having only 2
Lucky and fortunate
Especially for us

Yesterday
2 4th year students take over our Biology class
But we talked about not Biology
But about Bible
Everything about Bible
The Pro's and Con's
I don't now what
Or I can't identify the Pro's and Con's
Until now
My mind is still uncomfortable
Because it can't stop
Thinking about that matter

Being a Sophomore student is fun
But sometimes
I can see some aspects
That I saw when I was in elementary
And that's the majority
But as time goes by
I think it's becoming less
But except for one
I can't take her anymore
I won't describe her
Because she's the only one
Having that description
But the greatest clue I can give
Is that
She is a "she"
And not a "he"
I am the only one that she always look at
Look in a negative side
I'm the only one that she always force
That I am wrong
That I'm the worst one
That I'm the bad one
She can't see the others
Let's say that I have all those descriptions
But the worst that I can't take is that
Very simple thing
I know I'm unethical
But I just want to share it to this up to this point
When I have free time
I try to fix broken things in our second home
And what's getting me mad about that?
She forced me to do it?
No
I volunteer in doing those
She asked me to stop?
No
She doesn't care about the positive side of me
She wanted to do it instead of me?
You can wish about it
But that's not the reason
Then what's the reason?
Very simple
She just told me
That I'm the reason for the broken items
Inside our second home
What in the world is that reasoning is?!
Such a fool man's thinking
(Let me be boastful in this part again)
I think its what you call
"Crab Mentality"
Yes
I tried to fix broken things in our room
And majority of it
I fixed it
And yet she has the guts to say
And the one who's wrecking it?!
What the hell is that!
I just can't take it anymore
Well if your reading this
Then better think twice
Before you use your mouth and talk

Aside from that
I'm enjoying my life at present
And I want to enjoy it more
I just want to fulfill my dreams
I just want to finish what I've started
Oh wait
I remember
In our MAPEH class
We had a personality test
There is a question
"You saw a jar, in what volume will you fill it?"
Choices are:
A)1/4
B)1/2
C)3/4
D)Full
My answer is A
My 1st reason is
Because in desert, you can't have too many water
Because it'll just evaporate
And you'll lose your water
Which you earned too difficult
And our teacher declared the reason
It represents our achievements
So I achieved 1/4 of my achievements
And I think It's correct at my present situation
Because at present
The only dream I have
Aside from becoming a UP student at college
Is to finish my studies at my present school
And I'm trying to be better than myself
And finish it
Wait
Why "better" not "best"?
Because if you beat the best of yourself
It means you achieved your highest point
And you can never improve
While in better
You can always defeat yourself
Improve every time
Take it step by step
And beat your worst enemy
Yourself

Thanks for reading
It's already too long
Hope your not bored reading it
'Till next time
**NOTE: I posted this entry last August 2, 2008

"So now you say, "Your probably mistaken"

----Sponge Cola ( Closure )

--marc22fews

Am I too good?

These days
No
These weeks
I've been too busy
So my apologies to the one waiting for my new post
Too busy
That even our school year-long project
I can't make it
A journal for English and Physics class
We will write anything about the said subject
In our every meeting
Making it
The English to have 5 entries per week
And 3 per week for Physics
But I think
It's useless
What's the sense of knowing the negative and positive
If you still can't change what you want to change?
Well I'll end this portion
For the reason
I don't want to be the person in our guidance councilor's room
Because of this blog

About last week
Or last 2 weeks
I can't remember the exact date and day
Our local gov't gave us our free footwears
A leather and rubber shoes
Yes
We gain materialistically
But we lose a friend
Because a lesson was on going at the time the shoes were given
We were in a very rush at that moment
To be honest
I really forgot about his presence at that exact moment
So we went down all the way to 1st floor
And get our shoes
About a day after
Our friend already call us "traitors"
For the reason we didn't wait for him
And until now
We aren't at good terms

I want you to know
That about the past 6 hours before i write this entry
There are a lots of things i want to share
But for the unknown reason
I forgot them all

For a while
I want to boast
Now
Let me do it
At our Math classes
Which is Advance Algebra and Plane Geometry
Because of my summer lessons
Obviously last summer
I know already some of the topics
That's why I felt like
I was a little bit above against my classmates
But still I know
There will be an end
And speaking of end
There is something I want to end
I want to forget
And wish I didn't do it
I can't tell the exact thing
So that you'll read my blog very carefully

I've done this mistake
It is already the 2nd time
But it's not as simple as that
This mistake
Is a better mistake compared to the 1st mistake
I know
The persons involved are the wrong persons
Unlike the 1st one
Because of it
The ones that makes me smile before
Now
Can make me smile
Not the same side
But the negative side of me
Because of it
I envy my best friend for it
I didn't know what the hell did I done
I don't like sharing this kinds of stuff
But I can't take myself away from it
I've destroyed everything
And I'm regretting it
Did you get what I mean?
What do you think it is?
No
That's not the correct answer

Before I end this blog
It took me a night
And a day also
It is already the 20th hour since I started it
Because last night
It was already almost the middle of the night
And my dad ask me to stop
And I do so
This morning
I was busy for my assignments
Afternoon's time?
I spent it in my cousin's home
So this is again another free time of my life
But not for long
Because I'm into something again

I forgot to tell it earlier
So now I'm gonna say the main point
Why did I post another blog in no time
Answer?
Very simple
Because of a feeling
A feeling that caused me to think
And that feeling is called
Self-pity

Since elementary
My father brings me to school
And fetches me after class
I was happy
Because my dad has a time for me
Unlike my other classmates
They'll wake up too early
And their parents is either sleeping
Or already on the way to their works
And they'll sleep by the time
That their parents isn't at home yet
At that point of view
I felt very lucky
For treating me like a very special thing

When high school came
The only thing that differs it from my elementary days
Is that my dad didn't fetch me from school
Instead
They hired a service for me
I'm still happy
When 2nd yr came
I already don't have a service
I was not mad
Or saying that my parents doesn't care about me anymore
But
I already saw the thing that differs me from every person I know
They don't want me to go alone in the open crowd
They didn't allow me to have the same route as an ordinary student walks
Instead of that
I was always in a special one that dispatches me at the door of our house
I'm not mad because of the reason
I can't go with my classmates at their way to home
I was happy in the sense that
They wanted me to be safe
But the thing I didn't like is that
They didn't want me to taste a little more dangerous life
I don't want to be a wild one
But I also want to walk to the same route
That an average public school student takes
I didn't want freedom
Because I know that I already have them
But I just want to experience and learn from the said thing
Right now
A part of me wants to be rebel
But I know
It will get me to my worst phase
And at the end
I will still be the loser
I just beat up my self
And I'm just thinking
That there is a reason
Why I have to be a special one against the others

Right now
The only thing at my mind
Is 3 things
Be wise
Be sly
And overtake my dreams
I don't want to have other things that is unnecessary
I wanted to maintain my scholarship
I wanted to fulfill my expectations
I wanted to live my life
I wanted to learn
I wanted to be the better one than myself
Why only better not best!?
Simply because
When you choose to b your best
You can't upgrade from it
Because it is already the superlative one
There is no higher or greater than that one
But with better
I can always improve
I can always be better
I can always defeat the greatest enemy
MYSELF

"I was alone and you were with him. I wanna see my friend."

----Pedicab ( A Stormy Night)

--marc22fews